Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
