i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
