I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Pants are for mortals
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
