so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
