sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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