i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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