Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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