Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
