WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
What drink are we having for lunch?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize