foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
