Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Randomize
