Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
