I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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