this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
