After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
