she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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