I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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