You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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