Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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