So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
