I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
