i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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