What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
