i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
