are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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