Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
