I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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