First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
