My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
