She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize