Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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