remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
