I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize