i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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