wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
