Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
