Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
