Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize