apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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