20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
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