That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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