Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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