strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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