I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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