You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
