I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
