think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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