Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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