Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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