Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
