I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
