There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
