Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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