I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
