i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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