I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
