she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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