After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
