That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
