I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
