Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
