I like my sex mixed with concussions.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
