No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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