You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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