oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
