I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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